Because X is the New Why*

*Title borrowed from New Slang: Because X is the New Why.




Once in a while, there is a song, a book, a pair of shoes, a movie, a poem, or a website that grasps you in the hand, in the neck and grips you, comes up to you so sneakily, it's impossible to just be nonchalant and disregard it, nor walk away. It kind of creeps behind your back and before you know it, you're into deep and you just have no way to get out of it, even if you try.

Such is the instance with me and my affair with a website, so unpretentious and so humble, it took me, an internet supertramp with ADD, a while to discover. It was then during that one day I was actually on Twitter that I saw Carina's tweet, followed the link and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

And I landed with a big, painful thud, too:

The last thing I want to hear
is a vague catch all with an accompanying
sweep of your arm
a poor excuse for a non-
relationship or an empty phrase
such as β€œWe just are.”
What is that, really?
I am asking for a name,
a label on a jar so I can tell
whether I’m sitting on the shelf
or I should hide under the table.
Definition by Carmela Guanzon Lapena

I can't quite figure out what, or why it had felt like that {but maybe if you knew me IRL, you'd be able to point out}. All I know is, I never close my New Slang tab ever since, and aspired to become one of them, too. {Now that I've said that, do watch out because one of my essays is going online in that little treasure chest.}

If like me, you have this chronic need to tell your story, either in painstaking detail or cryptic fashion, email un-published essays to because@new-slang.com.

Jacques Andre Istel, a Frenchman from California, took this plot of land and named it "Felicity: The Official Center of the World" in honor of his wife. Delusion breeds grand romantic gestures. So what can you find in Felicity? A pyramid, a church, a spiral stairway to nowhere, and this nifty bronze hand pointing at the pyramid. Sweet!

Too lazy to dwell on a theme? You betcha! Also vacations, evolution, money, deadlines, typhoons, Jesse Eisenberg vs Michael Cera, metaphysics, Buddy vs Sol, counter culture, partying, ex-boy/girlfriends, candy, urban legends, "Is Intelligent Design feasible?", famous last words, fashion, music, everything under the sun, and the sun. Write about it! Freebird!

Before we wrap up a wonderful year (because everyone knows that we have to save the December issue for Christmas), we are bringing you: The Book of Everything; a repository for work that you were supposed to submit for previous themes, but then you somehow missed the deadline, or work you just want to submit because you are awesome. Like everything.

Except for poetry. We won't take that because we don't know how to edit it.


X is the New Why. Touche.