Navigating the last few days, for me, have been peppered with so many questions. I think being in this state happens when you're suddenly thrown out of your comfort zone, personally, professionally, and I guess, for the benefit of the country, nationally. I wish I knew so much of what is happening in Mindanao, and I wish I understood why, but I don't. Today, all I know is that the nation is mourning the loss of 44 soldiers who fought for peace.
I have only experienced loss many, many years ago when I lost a father, so this speaks to me somehow. I can imagine the pain, though, as they were lost in line of duty. There will be no words.
This got me thinking about a conversation I had with a friend. About Ubuntu, or the African philosophy of humanity, one that roughly translates to "I am who I am because of you." At the end of it all, beyond the peace talk, the differences of which can't be reconciled, the compromises that can't be made, one can hope that one would have the capacity to be human.
I am guilty of becoming inhumane sometimes. Not in bomb-detonating scale, but I am inhumane when I put up a wall against myself. I'm inhumane when I choose to preserve my feelings, my time and my sanity just so I can hurt somebody. This, amongst many other things, of course.
In the face of uncertainty and a maddening effort for self preservation, the only thing I'm sure of is that the way to go is humanity. Maybe it isn't so hard.