Mid Year, Mid Week Thoughts

DISCLAIMER: I originally wrote this in mid 2015, at a time I was grasping for life's meaning, solidly single, meaning I was not seeing anyone at all and had a lot of time to think about life. One day, I was checking my blog entries and saw this was unpublished -- well, two and some years later. Life is very different now but I'm happy. I want to put my thoughts down again so I'm continuing to write them down here.

Wow. One day, I was toasting to the New Year. The next thing I know, I am here on a hot July day. I am exhausted from the day. It's the happy kind of tired, though. I am tired from a billion ideas coming and flowing. For once, I am right in the middle of things, and I am learning a lot. I'm at that point in my life that things are happening the fastest I've ever had things happen to me. I'm glad I can still keep up.

In true Tara fashion, despite the crazy schedules and back to back meetings with little to zero space for silencing down and doing some hard thinking, I'm writing down what I've learned so far on this road towards 30

  1. You can do whatever you want, if you create time for it. I've been told that I have crazy great time management skills. This was after I've juggled working in a high pressure environment for 8 hours, done some swim training, cooked dinner and wrote a financial planning article on how dating has been wrecking my rather immaculate finances. The thing is, I learned that one has to put a hard stop on things, most of it, work. If I keep feeling guilty every time I step out of the office on time, I won't be able to do much with life outside work.

  2. Speaking of dating, this 2015 saw the return of my dating life. So far --- it's been interesting, is what I can say =P

  3. However, I also learned that lack of any serious romantic involvement gave me laser-like focus. It's incredible. It's almost like sorcery.

  4. {2017} Speaking of dating life, Mike and I just celebrated our second anniversary. It's funny as it was more like "Sh*t, it's our anniversary, should we go out of town or do something special kind of day, but I was working out when I realized it was our anniversary, and Mike was cooking so we couldn't go out anymore. We both laughed at the thought that we forgot. I thought then that the most important thing different from 2015 and 2017 is that I get to go home to Mike and Butters every night, I get to squeeze myself with them before sleeping and that for the most part, I don't have to do things on my own, maybe ever again.

  5. But I do like doing things on my own sometimes. I'd be crazy not to miss being my old, single self. You know the things you like doing on your own, like singing out loud to songs you're embarrassed to be heard listening to? Those ones. I have a bunch of them and despite being comfortable with who I am, it's just not the same doing it in front of someone. I like just hanging at home alone sometimes. I like going on me dates too. One of my biggest lessons the past years is to never stop growing as a person and constantly reminding yourself who you are. Some people make the mistake of making their lives revolve within the relationship -- and I can't blame them, it does feel addicting sometimes. I've had my share of obsessive moments in the past. You know when they say the mark of real adulthood and ka-tanderan is when you don't make everything an issue anymore? I'm there. I'm old, I know. HAHA!

  6. Life is so much better with on demand massage service. Yes, I'm talking about Zennya.

  7. I'm at that point wherein I think a lot about quality of life. Like, do I want to go through this sh*thole of traffic everyday for a 6km drive? Do I want this job and do I want to spend 80% of the day doing it? What can I do to win at life today? How can I spend my hours feeling fulfilled? How can I manage my trash? When do I travel next? Sometimes, all I want to do in a day is hug and play with Butters. Is that too much to ask?

  8. Meditation has become my best friend. My shower time is my prayer / YouTube / meditation time. It allows me to think about the day that's coming in and to ask God to make me a good person and remove the bi*chy little girl who's always saying weird and funny things in my head.

  9. Say yes and let life surprise you. One of the things I learned from my boyfriend is how to try out new things and that doesn't always mean sky diving. It may mean in the form of scary concepts like bitcoins or philosophies no one we know have heard of nor tried. I'd like to think that I'll be an entrepreneur soon but it's still early to tell.

  10. Life is too short and special for bad coffee, bad sex, to sit through bad shows, books, bad friendships. To quote myself in Filipino, "bakit mo ipagkakait sa sarili mo yung maging masaya?"

Have an awesome rest of 2017, everyone xx