What I Know For Sure: Deux
I'm taking a break from packing my bags for a business trip as I type this. My head is frantic from all the arrangements I've yet to do, vouchers I need to print, worksheets I've yet to review, work I've yet to finish and social life I must return to.
Wow, when did I get so old?
One of the highlights of my last weekend was your overwhelming response to my pilot entry for a new section on this blog called What I Know For Sure.
I was late getting into the Oprah bandwagon but I sure made up for it. And now, here I am, inspired by her quest and daily effort to live the best life.
My favorite O Magazine feature: Live Your Best Life
And so, brought about by a deluge of realizations, good and bad, happifying and heartbreaking, here are the things I know for sure this week:
1. There is no use trying to impress people who don't give a damn. I may not say it out loud but on some many days, the little things I do, the miniscule details I pay attention to, the little inches, the little extra mile I go --- they're effort exerted to win over people I may or may not have a reason to please. And it's just, really, a nice thing to do. But if the person at the receiving end of the line do not care for once, twice after --- give up and walk away. Save your pretty face.
2. Having said that --- there's power in walking away. I won't go the details of expounding the length of things / circumstances I have been beating myself over for the past couple of weeks for NOT getting. I thought I'd get it if I wanted it so much and I still didn't! I felt like crying and saying expletives out loud but instead, I just walked away and it felt --- painful. And then it became okay. Sometimes it's just a pair of shoes, sometimes it's SOMETHING, sometimes it's someone and it's all the same. A very wise mentor once said that you will only feel the lack when you feel the need. When you walk away, you don't acknowledge the need, and therefore the mad hankering, the deep, gut-wrenching want is dissolved.
Tse. *spins in heels* {This technique also works for expensive shoes ha ha}
3. Someone will always say something. Here's the thing: I want to look and seem perfect. For 26 years, I wanted to be seen as scot-free and squeaky clean and the-girl-who-can-do-no-wrong. I wanted to be Miss Perfect. You know where I ended up? My face on the floor and with a huge bump on my forehead. In your mind, you know you're doing the right thing, you are with conviction that you aren't stepping on anyone's toes and the next thing you know is --- you are the subject of talks, your face flat on the floor. Truth be told, I think a lot of it has to with our love for gossip, our love for pulling other people down. I mean, I like talking about celebrities and people and before, I used to be really mean {no way am I a saint now} but until I got to be the subject of many a gossip item, and for no good reason, too, I have decided to stop wagging tongues, mine included. Of course, I still get to be criticized and demeaned at times but I've accepted the fact that people will judge and point and see all the wrong things in me and well, what people think of me is really none of my business.
4. There is no substitute for hard work. Those nights of no night life at all? Those weekends spent poring over work details? Those headaches gotten from persistence to achieve the best results? Kiddos --- those are necessary. If you want to succeed, giving up when times get tough, when your hair gets sticky from being in the office for more than 14 hours --- is not an option.
5. When it feels so wrong --- it must be really wrong. Circumstances can be tricky --- wrong situations can shine light on small rights. A wrong and a wrong and a small right doesn't make a right. It's never a right no matter how seemingly right it feels.
6. It's scary and you're scared but no one has to know. In college, I took up theater classes and I remember the teacher telling me during one of the improv classes that onstage, no one knows if you blank out on your lines, fumble with a sentence or two or miss a step in a dance sequence. At least, no one knows until you start apologizing about it and acknowledge you were wrong. So your new business venture scares the hell out of you --- so what? Your new responsibilities are driving you insane --- so what? Playing the lead in a team presentation is making your heart beat super duper fast --- so what? It's okay to be scared, no one has to know :)
7. The power of disconnection. Funny how a busted phone, a signal that won't come and a disappearing act from the world of world wide web can make someone regain her sanity. And that her is me.
8. When all else fails, just be honest. Sometimes, I can be the master of engineering circumstances {what that is all about, I can expound over a glass of Colombelle}. Most of the time it works --- and sometimes it doesn't. So when it fails, the only thing left to do is let out the truth.
9. You can stand in front of someone and miss that someone that very moment.
What do you know for sure?
xx