Things I Love: 2016, The Roundup
Today was an extraordinarily ordinary day: I woke up, we watched Die Beautiful in the cinemas {boy, was it jarring and GOOD!}, had Hainanese for lunch, cleaned our storage room, threw a lot of boxes, items and trash and basically Konmari'd my way for the day, had a bit of fun time (:P) and now, lounging around to watch Southside With You with my bae. It's a chill day, the kind of day I've reserved for contemplating, closing thoughts for the year, recapping the year that was, those kinds of things. Do you ever feel like Am I supposed to be here? Is this where I should be? Did I do my best? What do I do next year? What lessons have I learned?
On Work:
Work formed part most of my 2016, literally. There wasn't a day nor time that I didn't touch, interface or think about work. Work was so embedded in my life this year that I got to discover and learn about this craft, and I learned about myself. I learned, after being moved from job to job, that I didn't need to do everything and didn't need to be busy to the point of tears, to feel important. I learned that to find your place in the world (or in the workplace) one needs to be real. I also learned that niceness doesn't always get you what you want, or your way. In life, it's important to stand your ground and for your beliefs, too. I learned that it doesn't matter if you're the best person fit for the job IF you're a pain in the ass to deal with. I learned that it's easier to accept people when you think they're on the same boat as you and working towards the same goals. Life is easier when we don't ascribe intention to things and let them be.
“Pick the people who will be the most positive in your life. People who you can look up to, who can look up to you. Eliminate everyone else. Not in a cold or cruel way. But in a way that makes sure you put the importance back on yourself. Make sure you are your own center of gravity. Anyone whose gravitational pull becomes too great needs to be put on “Halley’s Comet” status – once every 76 years and that’s it.”
On Relationships
Whether it's friendship or romantic relationships, friendships ebb and flow over time. I am hahahuhu to report that I've gained some real friendships this year but also lost ones I've had over the years for real. I am happy to have the undying support and continuous love {and in any relationship, forgiveness} of my partner, Mike. Though it's not perfect, we have weathered some storms together as well and made it through alive and happy, stronger and more in love than ever. I learned that love does not always mean sweet nothings, crazy "I can't live my life without you" feelings, but those that are quiet moments of perseverance, ones that make you think "Can my legs still carry me?" "Am I ready for this?" "Do I choose this person through all these challenges?" To quote this viral article from Huffington Post:
“More often than not, real love has its sleeves rolled up, dirt and grime smeared on its arms, and sweat dripping down its forehead. ”
Yup. That's what I've learned this year.
On Self Love
If there's anything I was happy to have done this year, it was that I took care of myself at the most crucial times that I needed to. You see, I burned out immensely this year. I was hitting the ground and running on fumes many, many times and there were many times I resented it. I read from HBR that the first thing one should do when burning out is to take care of oneself and so that's what I did. I still have a lot of catching up to do, like the usual check ups, but I fought for my quiet time when I needed it, and walked away when I was about to go crazy, and came back recharged.
““Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.””
I was ping pong-ing with asserting myself and being small this 2016. Mike tells me I tend to apologize for many things in life, at work, and tends to take blame for people's shortcomings. This was something I addressed this year, with the help of loved ones, and The Assertiveness Workbook. It's something I've finally semi fixed after decades of short changing myself and I'm grateful for this skill.
Happier or sadder? Happy for the most part, with normal levels of sadness at some parts. I did lose some people this year.
Richer or poorer? I've been richest than I've ever been.
What do you wish you'd done more of? I wish I worked out more. I feel so fat this year. Probably the fattest I've ever been.
What do you wish you'd done less of? Worried, picked at issues less.
How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it with friends and then Mike and Butters, just the three of us <3
Did you fall in love in 2016? Yes. :) Every day.
What was your favorite TV program? Black Mirror and This is Us.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No.
What was the best book you read? The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson and Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett. I loved the coffee table books of Kate Spade, All in Good Taste and Things We Love, Kinfolk Home and Kinfolk Table, as well as Humans of New York.
What was your greatest musical discovery? LANY, Great Good Fine Ok, Francis & Friends
What did you want and got? I asked for grace and I received it.
What was your favorite film of this year? Train to Busan, Die Beautiful
What did you do on your birthday? Gathered my friends at home, had quite a lot of laughter, overflowing moscato and champagne and whiskey.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? A lot more fashionable this year, what with all the shopping I did whenever I'm stressed out.
What kept you sane? A prayer every morning and meditation.
Which celebrity figure you fancy the most? Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans, and a bit of Ezra Miller.
Who was the best new person you met? My boyfriend's friends' girlfriends seem to be all cool.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016? See above.
Proust Questionnaire
What is your idea of perfect happiness? Every night when I cuddle with my boys while watching Wonder Years and everything is all right in the world.
What is your greatest fear? Losing things / memories / experiences.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Apathy.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Self-entitlement. Self-righteousness.
Which living person do you most admire? Elon Musk.
What is your greatest extravagance? Generosity.
What is your current state of mind? Chill, sleepy, I should watch Sunday Beauty Queen.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Virginity. --- I don't know if there's a set of virtues but yeah, I'd guess virginity would be an overrated virtue for me, too.
On what occasion do you lie? When the truth is immaterial.
What is the quality you most like in a man? Knowing when to decide, when to agree and when to follow a woman. - STILL TRUE from 2012!
What is the quality you most like in a woman? The resilience of woman's heart.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Oh cool!
What or who is the greatest love of your life? God, My family, Butters, Mike.
When and where were you happiest? Every time I realize it's where I needed to be.
Which talent would you most like to have? Playing the drums.
What is your favorite occupation? I would want to study interior design and be a designer.
What is your most marked characteristic? Passion. {Scorpio's trait, actually} Still is.
What do you most value in your friends? Their decision to stay with me through thick and thin, the privilege of no judgment.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction? General Leia Organa
Who are your heroes in real life? The kind people I meet everyday, the friends whom I have, who've stood by me, my mother, my dad.
What is that you most dislike? Lack of passion; being lackadaisical.
What is your most treasured possession? Memories, experiences and everyday with Butters and Mike.
What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery? Regret. Regretting never doing something.{Same} {2012- Same}
What is your greatest regret? To have never done the things I could when I had the chance.
How would you like to die? In my sleep.
What is your motto? Go long or go home.
It was a great 2016, looking forward to an even better one this 2017.
Happy 2017, my loves xx
