What It Means to be a Woman
I am rewatching The Bold Type as I type this {so meta}, it finally became available in PH Netflix and I cannot recommend it enough to any woman who’s listening. As a woman — we are in the middle of so many role expectations and general public disappointments, thinking alone about it can be exhausting.
Some of the things I somewhat struggle currently (or previously struggled with) wasn’t so much in the workplace — I was pretty lucky to have had women who paved the way. In real life though, this kind of judgment comes not just from men but women, too! Some micro aggressions I remember being told:
“You’re in your 30s — you should have a child soon”
“It’s okay that you can’t do it, you’re pretty naman”
There are more micro aggressions that happen to women — for example — women are ok to be hot until someone does something untoward and then it’s their fault. Or being a mother means the mom cannot dress a certain way anymore, cannot dress “hot” or “sexy” anymore unless she was stick-thin. We also cannot be too stick thin — we look sick. People scoff at the sight of a nipple — what is so scandalous about it anyway? You have big boobs — are those real? If they’re not real — Oh you must be so insecure about your body. You’re too smart — how will you get married? Oh you’re not married — why? Oh you’re not a mother — why? Oh you’re separated? Oh.
It’s tiring — to have to constantly navigate a world that just finds a way to make you feel as if you’re a failure. There just doesn’t seem to be a completeness for us, women, beings who nurture and give birth to humankind. I am glad that women are progressively being welcomed to be anything they can be. And I am not talking about being an engineer, an astronaut — I am glad we can be those if we want to. But my hope for women is to be anything they want to be — to dress how they want to be, to express their joys and pain without fear and actual judgment, just understanding. For women to help each other be the best version of themselves — its most authentic — yes that includes someone who rests and sleeps, not just hustle.
To me — being a woman is to look inside ourselves, into that deepest of our desires and be able to live it, free from judgment and unnecessary opinions. Free to dress how we want, free to enjoy sex no matter our age (with consent and proper agency), free to choose whether to be a mother or not, free agency over her body, not be the main person to have to prevent pregnancies {why is it always a woman’s responsibility anyway?}. To me, being a woman is living a truth — her own.