Witty diatribes. Sesame seed scent.
Clouds in my coffee. Snail mail from grandparents on vacation in Russia.
Jim Sturgess, please marry me. My website being the only one with very positive ratings
compared to its Asia and North America counterparts. Pink sheets.
Oh and I thought I'd just share:
You Know You’re Pretentious If You…
1. Claim that you like Bach, Vivaldi, Wagner, etc. when you’d really rather listen to Beyonce’s Single Ladies.
2. Claim to love The Godfather and Citizen Kane when you’d really rather be watching Zoolander.
3. Claim to understand Nietzsche, Marx and Hegel when you probably can’t even properly pronounce nor spell their names without Googling them.
4. Claim to have read Anna Karenina, The Tale of Genji, The Brothers Karamazov, etc. when you can barely get past the 5th chapter of Twilight.
5. Claim to be a Japanophile because you patronize Harajuku Lovers.
6. Call the Hermes Birkin an investment piece because you think you can sell it for a higher price than what you paid for. Goodluck on finding idiots who would plop 9 grand for a secondhand box-o’-germs.
7. Claim to love photography when you Photoshop your way to art.
8. Claim you’re one in a million. Wake up. You’re not.
9. Think you look cool and rich by posing in front of a car.
10. Keep saying “fail” every opportunity you get.
11. Claim to be a super geek by saying you enjoy The National Georgraphic channel when you’re actually tuned in to VH1 or MTV.
12. Point out a fashion faux pas when you don’t even know how to dress yourself.
13. Claim that you’re happy and successful. If you are, you won’t feel the need to talk about it.
14. Buy every garbage Louis Vuitton throws at you and call yourself fashionable.
15. Claim that you can eat anything you want and not gain weight when you actually sneak off into the ladies’ room after every meal.
16. Constantly inject an unfamiliar word into every statement so you would appear to be an intellectual.
17. Often find a way to talk about yourself and your life even though you’re not the one being discussed.
18. Name drop to flaunt how well-connected you are.
19. Claim to be cultured and well-traveled when you haven’t even left the continent.
20. Claim to be a citizen of the world when you’re a mere tourist.
21. Document every trip you make to Starbucks or The Coffee Bean or any other coffee shop for that matter.
22. Laugh at political satires when you don’t really know what they’re talking about.
23. Pout and pose with a bottle of liquor in pictures and upload these on Facebook.
24. Call San Francisco SanFo or San Fran; Manila , Manille; Boracay, Bora.
25. Call yourself an environmentalist just because, along with other idiots, once a year, you turn your lights off for an hour.
26. Call yourself “one of the boys” when you know you’re a big-time flirt.
27. Think you have a life just because you’re wasted every weekend.
28. Refer to yourself as a “bitch” or a “player.”
29. Post updates from the stock exchange on your blog. We know how to use the internet and read the paper, thankyouverymuch.
30. Constantly talk about how great your sex life is and how fantastic you are in bed. Who are you trying to fool?
How is Thursday treating you? I hope you're lovin'
the nippy weather cos I definitely am!
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