What I Know For Sure: Live the life you want
Over and over, I am deluged by a wave of realizations since 2013 came in. Not too sure if this is brought on by the fact that I rarely congregate in large groups, that I have much more quiet time than I’ve had before and the fact that I’m well into my late 20s.
When I think about who I was and when I read my journals from the 90s and early 2000s, I kind of want writhe into nothing. When I moved homes, I was contemplating whether to burn them away --- some of them were just too agonizingly painful to read. Not because of what I had been going through but because I was incredibly shallow.
I sometimes wish I can talk to my 13-year-old self and thunk me on the head.
But I can’t do that now, can I? So because I can’t do that but I can write my fluffy-headed 13-year-old self --- and any 13-year-old girl who’s reading this:
Dear Tara,
It’s the year of your discovery of the Internet --- and like that, the world is opening up to you. You just moved to a new school, much against your will. You will love it, I promise, and you will realize sooner that it was the life you would much rather have. It’s nice to be 10 minutes away from school, dearest. It’s nice to come home in the afternoon and not to be tired of your daily commute from Manila.
Soon, you will be doing many of the things you love doing --- you will be writing for the school paper and spearheading your yearbook committee. You will fall in like with a lot of boys and you will get your heart broken more than once. That is okay. But do realize that 10 years after, you will forget about them --- without you trying, you will get to know a world that is much better and bigger than what you see now. Keep taking in all the knowledge that you learn everyday. Know that the world doesn’t end when you lose some things that you lost --- they will be replaced with better models. Blessings are waiting for you, so continue that route in which you forge a relationship with Jesus.
It’s okay not to be the prom queen, the valedictorian, the volleyball team captain --- your dream of being smart and pretty will come, much later, when you shed off your awkward phase {a long one, would you believe}. You would sway the world with your words and your stories will be woven into the tapestry of so many lives you will touch. Your thoughts will bring you places --- keep them coming.
Keep writing, keep dreaming, keep living the life you want --- the world is yours for the taking.
Love,
T.