Mother's Day is Literally an Annual Affair

Physically, that is.

I have forgotten how it feels to be living with a mother, really. When friends talk about how kontrabida to their lives their mothers are --- for a host of reasons, such as dating issues, curfews {even at this age, yes, for some!} and things I can't really relate to, I tend to daze out and sometimes, lecture them on how they should just start appreciating their mothers because it's tough living away from yours.

But sad as that fact is for me, not having a parent to tell in person all the things I did, felt, or had at the end of the day, I'm a happy girl for still being able to have at least once a year to be with my mother --- and I'm going to see her in four days, to be exact.

Last year 

Let me tell you how mean I was last year while I was on vacation with my mom: We were to go and buy some stuff we needed at Walmart in Cancun. As we were crossing the street, my mom held my hand and I was quick to remove it. I told her that I've been crossing streets for so many years without anyone holding my hand so why hold it now? She said that because the chance presented itself.

Naturally, I held her hand like I was back in third grade and died inside in guilt.

As if that was enough, I had episodes of bratty bursts during that trip: snapping every time my mother answered for me, questions of which the answers she knew and of course, I being the feeling independent girl, was annoyed. I have been so used to being alone for so long that it was all new to me.

The picture above was the moment I was realizing I was not to see my mother again for a whole year. If you look closely, I was trying to hold back tears as I was to get off the airport cab as my terminal was different from theirs. I did spend crying my eyes out at a Cancun International Airport bathroom and until I reached Japan, which made my eyes swollen. But feeling guilty is not enough.

And so as the day approaches that I will get to spend time with her again, I have made a self promise that I will set aside all these But-I'm-so-used-to-so-and-so tendencies and let my mother do her thing. After all, it must be hard for her not to be spending all year round with me, too. I hope.

Happy Mothers' Day, Mama! See you on Thursday, 12 PM EST.