In a fewhours, I'll be 27. In my head, I will always be a girl in her early twenties but well, here I am, older than I've ever been!
A wise woman once told me her late twenties were the great, golden days of her life. Not that being other things come second. In a single girl's life, her late twenties is when she finally gets a bit of freedom to do what she wants, a decent salary to buy herself nice lingerie, travel with friends every now and then, know enough wisdom to say no to things she doesn't want, do not give in to peer pressure and spend alone time just because she can.
A few nights ago, I'd been having sake with a couple of friends and we were doing rounds of questions --- you know the ones. So he asked me what I'd been looking forward to after this trip to Japan and I told him I'm looking forward to being 27. "What? I'm looking forward to growing younger!" The guy was nine years older than me so let's see if I come to say the same thing at that age.
I don't know about going back to my early 20s. While I always treasure how young I looked back then, I constantly remember the childish things I've done, the mistakes I committed and the sense of loss I had back then. That's not to say I'm perfect now --- but as I grow older, I realized that as one acquires more experience, one achieves a more stable sense of wisdom, a more evident peace of mind and little by little, one is stripped off of the superficial wants and desires.
So I am 27.
I can't believe it. When I was 12, I thought 27 was far too old to be having fun in life. At 27 now, I had the weirdest sense of wondering why I wasn't freaking out over BB creams I saw the other day at Diver City, they were brands I'd been wanting to hoard for a long time now, too. I missed my bus going to Tokyo's premium outlets and I was waiting patiently for the panic to come but it didn't. At 27, I've let go of so much baggage I'd been carrying for so long, forgiven myself, others, and then myself again. I've said no to so many by now, said yes to a few. It's tough remembering that your life is for you after all but I am thankful that there are people who remind me of where I should look back and the ones to just ignore.
You are answerable to no one but God
," I read my mother's email after I've woken her up with a call. I have forgotten the time difference, how silly. But nevertheless, I am thankful for people who despite all the bad decisions I have made, the crazy mistakes, the undesirable roads I've taken, words I never meant to come out but did anyway, judgments I've passed despite the fact that no one is supposed to be judging --- they are far too many. I guess being alone for a few days can truly make one reflect on the things I've done, on the thoughts I've ran away for so long, so much so they come out right now.
I remember always celebrating my birthday like any other day, it's just a bonus if friends discover it's my birthdaypala.
Sometime months ago, I had a thought playing in my head and I wanted to celebrate my birthday in a foreign land, alone. And here I am, tapping the night away on my laptop, drinking coffee instead of bubbly because I have an early flight to catch. I cannot be thankful enough.
To everyone who's been a part of my twenty seven wonderful years, thank you so much and I look forward to making more memories with you, to deeper friendships, to meaningful existence.
And yes, it is a very happy birthday.
PS: Here's a song I'm listening to, a new favorite I never ever thought I'd care to play:
Till I See You | Hillsong