Tell Me What

You know that part of your life where you don't want anything, don't wish for anything --- not aspire for anything?

I do.

The year's first quarter just ended. I take a short, quick and thorough glance at my planner, think of the things I've done and I feel -- nothing. It's as if I'm still right there on a safe distance of the edge of a cliff waiting to gather enough guts to take a plunge -- to where, I really don't know. I've been safe, so safe it numbs me. So safe, that I don't know who this girl is -- the girl who does what is expected, what is predicted, what is asked. I no longer have ridiculous ideas, only ones that are acceptable. Everything has been picture perfect.

Artwork by Leah Flores

I am not sure how I like that. Plus I miss the girl who wrote this post very, very badly. I begin think of myself like a body in a coma and I badly need that jolt of electricity --- kind of like when Dr. Christina Yang shouts "Clear!" in Grey's Anatomy and I am on a hospital bed.

It's safe. It's nothing.