Video Games and Tears

>> Friday, December 30, 2011

It's one of those days when I spend the entire afternoon eating gelato, sipping Bundaberg beers and sit in front of my laptop devouring fashion and design blogs. In one of the blogs I was reading, I caught an odd looking photo, nonchalantly clicked the play button and before I knew it, I was weeping.

And to think I was in the most perfect mood.

My gosh, Lana del Rey, what is with you and Video Games that can turn a perfectly calm person into a basket case? And I don't even have a reason to cry!

Swinging in the backyard
Pull up in your fast car
Whistling my name

Open up a beer
And you take it over here
And play a video game

I'm in his favorite sundress
Watching me get undressed
Take that body downtown

I say you the bestest
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite perfume on

Go play a video game

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Baby, now you do

Singing in the old bars
Swinging with the old stars
Living for the fame

Kissing in the blue dark
Playing pool and wild darts
Video games

He holds me in his big arms
Drunk and I am seeing stars
This is all I think of

Watching all our friends fall
In and out of Old Paul's
This is my idea of fun
Playing video games

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Baby, now you do

(Now you do)

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Baby, now you do

Have a listen and tell me you did not feel like your heart was plucked out of your chest and tied to a runaway truck like stones. And stuck with little pins.

The thing is, it kind of illustrates a major chunk of women today: that sector that believes that doing everything for a man would win them the man. I sure had that phase, a phase I wish I never have to go back to. If I could give an unsolicited advice to anyone who's reading, love has and will always be effortless. Sure, marriage is work and all that {what do I know, meh}, but I do know for sure that if we have to fight tooth and eye to be in that person's life, then maybe it's a one way thing. No one wants to be in a one way thing. At one point in our lives, we'd shake and ask ourselves why do we give everything? We don't want to be there with nothing more to give, do we?

Monkey see, monkey do. Men will find a way to pursue the things {and people} they want, you don't even need to lift a finger or make an excuse for his behavior.

Okay, saan galing yon?

Love, light and glitters!


The World You Want Can Be Yours


Never let anyone tell you otherwise.


She Likes Red Lipsticks

>> Thursday, December 29, 2011

She likes red lipstick, fish and chips and trips to the seaside.

Some kinda oily. :D

I like things that don´t make sense
No need lies no false pretense
No pop-up polls or pasted pictures
Dreams of fame or chasing riches
I like girls who like their friends
Not chasing blokes or fashion trends
She doesn´t care if she´s looking daft
That kind of girl always makes me laugh

Oh really girl I must confess
Yeah really girl I´m quite impressed

She likes red lipstick fish and chips
Orange juice and trips to the seaside
She likes red lipstick fish and chips
Oh this girl does things for me

And I don´t mind when I look a fool
When I try being nice try and stick to the rule
Your face goes blank like you´re trying to test us
And I´ve used my bank of romantic gestures
I don´t mind when you laugh at all of my lines
I´ve tried to impress you a million times
You brush them off but you still looked flattered
My minds gone blank and my brains are scattered all over all over
And then you win be back with a look of affection
Your timing was done to real perfection

Oh really girl I must confess
Yeah really girl I´m quite impressed

She likes red lipstick fish and chips
Orange juice and trips to the seaside
She likes red lipstick fish and chips
Oh this girl does things for me
Red lipstick fish and chips
Orange juice and trips to the seaside
Red lipstick fish and chips
Oh this girl does things for me
She likes red lipstick fish and chips
Orange juice and trips to the seaside


Twenty Questions by BJG

>> Wednesday, December 28, 2011

So there's another draft waiting to be published at the haystacks but here I am and all I am capable of blogging are bullets. Or maybe single-themed thoughts. Wala lang, baka dahil Pasko. And so before I forget:

Merry Christmas!!!! xx

I've been meaning to share nice things from my Christmas weekend but I'm unusually incoherent so I will just be answering some questions from one of my favorite blogs, Bethany Joy Galeotti. Yes, of the One Tree Hill cast. Every now and then, she interviews women through her blog and the 20 Questions section, the last being my favorite OTH character, Sophia Bush, and has always been my favorite-st part of her blog. Today, indulge me as I pretend to be one of her 'guest' interviewees =P

1 Were You Named After Anyone?

Where my name comes from has multitudes of stories wrapped around it --- that Hindu etymology {Tara meaning star and Jerika meaning princess} but my favorite would have to be that I was named after Scarlett O'Hara's home in Gone With the Wind, which was called Tara Hill, where I named our home after --- Tara Hills =P Which is kind of funny, because also, there's a real Hill of Tara in Ireland. Bongga.

2 Do You Like Your Own Handwriting?
Actually, yes. People tell me I can make a font out of it and that I can use it on Hallmark cards {do people still send those? I want one!} And maybe one day I will make a font out of my handwriting. Soon.

3 What Would Your Superpower be if you could choose one?
Transport myself anywhere I want to. It would be so cool to be anywhere in the world anytime I like. 

4 Are you an Optimist or Pessimist?
Eternally an optimist but lately, I've taken it down a notch because optimism led me to become too trusting and that got me into trouble.

5 What do you collect?
Happy, unforgettable memories, the best kwento ever for my future grandkids, books I can pass on to grandchildren and stamps on my passport.

6 What movie would your friends be surprised that you like?
My Amnesia Girl. As I type this, it's trending on Twitter because it's being shown on Cinema One and most people from work were surprised that I watch Tagalog films now. I used to shy away from them especially the ones with politicians in them or really cheesy beach-singing scenes. I hated those. Philippine cinema is so much better now {as if I have a right to judge, ha!}

7 What are your favorite smells?
A newly-born baby, baby products, vanilla, green tea, the scent of people I love and lemongrass.

8 Coffee or Tea?
Coffee. I cannot kid myself to drink tea except The Spa's Ginger Tea <3

9 Wine or Beer?
Wine if I'm feeling grown up and if I'm , beer on regular days. Never together, I'm going to be really messed up then.

10 What is the best thing you've ever eaten? (Where?)
A brownie I've eaten maybe ten months ago. I forget where we got it. It was three layers of foodgasm that made me forget about a lot of things. 

11 Mac or PC?
I rarely open my laptop -- these days, if only to blog. I am usually on my iPad and at work, I use a PC with the body of a Mac. Winner lang di ba?

12 What are you listening to right now?
Florence + the Machine, Skint and Demoralised and Pitbull. Yes, I cannot get over him.

13 What career would you pursue in another life?
A fashion photographer and stylist. Sort of like Garance Dore. Or Annie Leibovitz. Wait, I can do that this lifetime. Maybe I will.

14 What sound or noise to you love?
Uncontrollable belly laughs, live music, the voice of people I love and French baby talk.

15 What sound or noise do you hate?
City sounds like bickering in the streets {during traffic jams in Manila, you'll hear so much of this}, jeepney tires screeching and incessant nagging.

16 Mountains or Beach?
The beach, definitely. This girl loves the seaside and the waves when it kisses the shore.

17 Cook or Bake?
Neither. I'd love to say I am an expert at cooking but I am only mediocre at both. I really should hone those skills.

18 Do you go to restaurants and movies by yourself?
Of course! Gone are the days that people will think you're a weirdo for going on alone-dates and maybe they would but I really don't care much. I love my own company, it's the time that I hear my own thoughts and I get inspired for my next projects thoroughly.

19 What is your favorite fairy tale or childhood story?
The Princess and the Pea.

20 What would you tell the 13 year old you?
It's not the end of the world and your life gets better each day.

If you feel like answering BJG's 20 Questions, feel free to do so and I invite you to share with me the link at the comments section. xx

Happy Holidays!



>> Monday, December 26, 2011

Morning (Love Sonnet XXVII)
by Pablo Neruda

Naked you are simple as one of your hands;
Smooth, earthy, small, transparent, round.
You've moon-lines, apple pathways
Naked you are slender as a naked grain of wheat.

Naked you are blue as a night in Cuba;
You've vines and stars in your hair.
Naked you are spacious and yellow
As summer in a golden church.

Naked you are tiny as one of your nails;
Curved, subtle, rosy, till the day is born
And you withdraw to the underground world.

As if down a long tunnel of clothing and of chores;
Your clear light dims, gets dressed, drops its leaves,
And becomes a naked hand again.

Because a dose of Pablo Neruda in a day always makes things even better.

Image via


OOTD: I'm With the Band

Holidays mean parties here and there ---- which almost always equal to incessant dressing up, some creative styling to make sure our outfits are as diverse as the themes this Christmas season.

Where I work, our theme was pretty simple --- and fitting since our guest performer was Journey's front man, Arnel Pineda.Rockstar.

Photo by Leslie Araujo, from the Sun Life Financial Christmas Party, Sun Life Rocks

I thought that rockstars do not really think much when dressing up --- I mean, don't they just grab whatever is in their closet and ruffle their hair a bit? I mean, look at this:

 Kurt Cobain

Axle Rose

 Probably my favorite ever: Courtney Love

 Another favorite: Alanis Morrissette

 Dolores O'Riordan

Shirley Manson

Their clothes look so lived in, so in character. Their clothes look like items they wear on a daily basis and well, since I am not a rockstar, that was pretty hard for me to conjure. So I figured I'd grab some of my own stuff {shorts} and whatever catches my fancy a day before the party.

I had my mind set on something like this:

Or this, nevermind that it doesn't look like a rockstar, but more of a rockstar's girlfriend:

I had wanted to dress up in lace badly but couldn't come up with ones that were appropriate for public appearances.

So I ended up pretty much like this:

I'm With the Band
In this photo with friend and colleague Marge, photo by Arren Lateo

Sheer top: Details
Tank top: H&M
Shorts: Cotton On
Lace tights: Terranova
Boots: Aldo
Clutch: Fab Manila
Accessories: The Ramp

Man, do I love dressing up. What did you dress up as this season?


I'm Ready to Be Extraordinary

>> Saturday, December 24, 2011

On a Thursday night, amidst the rush of Christmas shoppers, the squeal of children running towards boxes and baskets of toys, the thud of shoppers rushing to squeeze in forgotten gifts, and whilst chomping madly on a humongous bacon and burger with blue cheese, I was put to a shocking stage of calmness by a song.

Christmas rush can make us overwhelmed --- or underwhelmed in some cases. I was completely apathetic, I wasn't feeling the Christmas spirit and I had wanted to walk away and be gone and forget and hibernate because of all the annoying things that come with the season. But this song --- which reminds me of those 1990's songs from Anna Nalick, Alana Davis and of Ally McBeal, picked me up from the muck from which I'd been swimming in for days now. Sometimes, I feel like my life is a cycle of chick literature plots, always waiting to come of age.

For a time, I had felt like I was moving backwards --- felt like I was sort of in a vacuum,  like the world was trying to mold me into something else and it felt a little like how a crumpled paper would. It felt like I had to act accordingly to what my manual, and the boxed-in set I came in with said I should.

But I was never good at following --- I always was the stubborn one, at least according to my mother. Maybe I should become more like everybody else, is what I thought, a quandary rather unusual and alien that I saw facet of who I was. Maybe I should act how everyone acted then maybe I wouldn't be ostracized too much. Maybe if I posed less of a threat {a threat of disruption, that is all}, people would stop caring so much about my life and move on with theirs. "But you always stand out," a friend I've helped cultivate his inner standout told me. "Blending in is sometimes much easier, mas walang masasabi sayo," was what I responded. "I was wrong to have told you to always stand out." I have had my fix of being in conversations just for being myself and while surely, being the subject of many conversations, good or bad, was tolerable, it came to a point wherein it wasn't fun anymore. This is in no way to imply I am some popular girl, only someone who have bared herself too much that people around me became experts at how I should run my life.

And so I folded. I filtered my words and I tapered my actions because they're what's appropriate. The shameless, irreverent, risque me took a backseat and  went on vacation.

But just as I had predicted, instructing myself of all of these would drive me crazy --- and back to my old ways.

Follow your own path and let people talk, Dante said {Kung sino si Dante, hindi ko din alam, basta si Dante.}. So go ahead and talk. I'm ready to be extraordinary.

In the chick flick that is my life, this is where I have that epiphany, the clouds open and I burst into resolve and a big smile. And this song starts playing.

Extraordinary | Mandy Moore

I was a daydream
Quiet and unseen
I lived in stories but inside I kept a mystery
I was a starling
Nobody's darling
Flying in perfect circles just for company

And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready to be extraordinary

A midnight airplane
A window blowing
I know I am another sparkle in the sky
I shine on copper
Still undiscovered
But you might see me in the corner of your eye

And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready to be extraordinary

Waking up to wake up someday
I am my own parade
Stopping off at a sidewalk cafe
Wind is playing in the trees
Kick up confetti leaves
Seems as if it's all to say

And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready to be extraordinary

And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready
And now I'm ready to be extraordinary

I'm ready to let go of what I can't have now and just be extraordinary.
Happy Holidays!

PS: Thanks to my friend Carla who just knew this song was by Mandy Moore. #Blashing


OOTD: Daytripper

>> Friday, December 23, 2011

"You look like you're about to fire someone," a colleague told me, upon my descent from the car at the Sun Life Centre on Fifth Avenue {sounds like the beginning of a New York novel, hrhr}. I was running fashionably late and I was a bit cautious not to hit my head again.

"I wish," I responded, half chuckling. This was the second time that someone told me this observation. I am not sure if it was because I haven't had a full cup of coffee that morning or if it was because I looked scary with a gray and black ensemble that is kind of unusual for me because I always wear something colorful to the office. On both occasions, I wasn't exactly about to fire someone. As if. Nevertheless, as it was an ordinary work day, I therefore conclude this outfit is my Daytripper outfit:

The blazer's winning detail are the oversized pockets and deconstructed details.

1,2, 3, EMOTE!

Dress: From Singapore
Blazer: Pink Manila
Shoes: Promod
Accessories: Nacara South Sea Pearls

PS: I realize I only have one expression. HA!

What's your work wear like?

Shot on location and with permission: The President's Office. Of course, paying tribute to the best dressed president I've ever worked for.
*waves* Hi Ms. Riza! Thank you for letting me use your beautiful office. Special thanks to my creative director, Issay Jovellano.
Photos taken by TJ Reyes.


Real Friends Are

>> Wednesday, December 21, 2011

To the ones whom you do not owe an explanation, or to prove that you're worth being friends with. You don't have to be with each other everyday, but you never need to look over your shoulder if they will change their minds about you. They are the ones who respect your craziness --- and maybe have the same brand of kookiness, too. They're the ones that when everything comes down right to it, when the questions pile up, there will be everything and anything but there will be no doubt.

To you, I am eternally grateful.

To the girls whom I've shared everything with, thank you for making me realize that the word friend is hard to just throw around.



The Truth is Not Far Behind

>> Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Hindi ka mukhang nagtatrabaho sa isang insurance company," was what a friend told me immediately after seeing me alight the elevator.

"That's the point," I said, completely unaware of how insurance company employees should look like. Despite being in an insurance company, the word "insurance" being an instant turn off to some as the images of an education plan fiasco comes to mind, I somehow had this vague idea that we, "insurance folks" are expected to be in our stiff suits and palettes of black, gray and white.

But last Saturday was not about me being one and the same and meant to blend into the crowd. I was playing host to an afternoon of exhibiting our endorser {Yes, Piolo Pascual's} photos and paintings of him drawn by his scholar Omar Flores. I was not about to look plain beside Piolo.

But I didn't want to go crazy with the colors, too, so that Saturday morning, when I woke up, I closed my eyes, ravaged my closet and brought out the following to wear:

The only full body shot I had that day. 
So yes, the truth is not far behind.

Tank top: George
Sheath top: Pink Manila
Skirt: Urban Behavior
Nude Pumps: Aldo

And of course, I just have to pout.

What's my take on dressing up the part? I have taken bold choices when it comes to dressing. I always think that I'd rather be overdressed than under dressed and so far {so far!}they all have turned out to be great choices, they have paved ways for me to express my individuality, a trait that goes farther than dressing up as who you are expected to be. They tell us to speak the truth. I believe in the same philosophy even in dressing up.

Speaking of Piolo Pascual and our project with him, here's a little invitation to help raise funds for Hebreo Foundation, which sends poor but underprivileged kids to school. By bidding on the photos taken by Piolo Pascual and the paintings taken of him, you can help more kids attain education they so deserve.




>> Monday, December 19, 2011

This is not my writing. But today and maybe in the next few days, I'd need to remind myself of these, if only to stay sane.  There's only one piece of literature I read over and over again when I need answers, prior to stumbling upon this. Now, this is the second. If you're feeling like the virtues, the lessons and pieces of wisdom you've gathered throughout the years are all a mishmash in your head, the only thing left to do is stop.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
By Marc and Angel

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12.  Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16.  Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17.  Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27.  Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30.  Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.


You Come Too

 Stumbled upon from this page.

Again  &  again
the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers
face  to  face  with the sky

Here  I  love  you.

In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorous on the vagrant waters
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other.

Tomorrow  we will only give them
a leaf of the tree of our love, a leaf
which will fall on the earth
like if it had been made by our lips

like a  kiss which falls
from our invincible heights
to show the fire and the tenderness
of a  true love.

Then I see you,
Standing under a spire of pale blue larkspur,
With a basket of roses on your arm.

You are cool, like silver,
And you smile.
The Canterbury bells are playing little tunes

Under the summer roses

When the flagrant crimson
Lurks in the dusk
Of the wild red leaves,

Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,

And asks you

Beautiful, unanswerable  questions .

The moon turns its  clockwork dream.

The biggest stars look at me with your  eyes .

And as I love you, the pines in the wind
want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.

In that book which is my  memory

On the first page
That is the  Chapter when
I first met you

Appear the words :

Here begins a new life.

Understand, I’ll slip quietly

away  from the noisy crowd
when I see the pale
stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.

I’ll pursue solitary pathways

through the pale twilit  meadows,

with only this one dream :

You come too.


Run, baby, run, faster than my bullet

>> Monday, December 12, 2011

Here's the story of a non-runner:

  • In 2008, three friends and I joined a run and with no clues and practice whatsoever, we joined the 10K category. I mean, 10K is a short distance, right? 10K is when you arrive in your destination in maybe 15 minutes by car. This girl hasn't discovered the speed limits discrepancies of machines vs. humans. I ended up being at the tail end of the race, with the guard radio-ing the organizers "Ito na po yung dulo" behind us. Ended up not finishing 10K, just 5K and placing 335th place. True story.
  • In 2009, I joined the company-sponsored Run for Pasig River and finished 5K but I had no idea what my time was. At that time, I couldn't care less if I finished in an hour or less. All I cared was that I finished alive.
  • I've started running for 30 minutes every day since, and this continued for the whole of 2010 during my whole healthy-living kick but declined when I got into yoga and other sports. It's been about four months since I've stopped running daily. 
When the company yet again organized a run, despite being part of the organizers, I knew I had to run, if only to put my running shoes to good use.While waiting for the gun start, I scrambled to find a familiar face --- my friends all had to attend to organizer matters and having had a bigger slice of organizer woes weeks prior, I was free to run. I had doubted this for a second, I felt like I was going to be trampled from the excitement and prowess of real runners. I was merely someone attempting to have an athletic life and a complete race under my belt.

And here, in bullets, are some quandaries I have had in that 48 minutes I was running, and then some. After all, leave it to a running event to make you think and rethink your life's strategies and the things you doubt.

  • The minutes leading to that gun start is filled with adrenaline --- I was literally pumped up just because of the people's cheers, waiting to run. 
  • The running marshalls were not meant to just tell you which way to go. Despite not really knowing most of them {however, familiar with some, so kahiyaan na}, their cheers and words of encouragement means a lot when you're struggling to keep going and you're just in your second kilometer.
  • A familiar face cheering you on in the middle of your run is a burst of happiness and makes you really run.
  • By the third kilometer, I had so wanted to haul myself on the other lane and cheat. I have felt like my body was going to hurl onto the pavement. Thankfully, I had thought of some entertaining motivations to keep myself from hitching onto the truck moving towards the program area {Such as 'Run like you stole something, Run like you're running from a manyakis, among others}.
  • Good running shoes really makes the difference. I have heard of people complaining about their foot pains after the run and I'm just glad I invested {HA! Excuses!} on these pink Climacools from Adidas.
  • Pink shoes make it easy to spot yourself in pictures. But that doesn't mean you posed well.

Exhibit A. Photo by Henry Macasiano

 Sunset Run OOTN: Photo by Arren Lateo

Singlet: Sunset Run
Running Shorts: Adidas
Socks: Nike
Shoes: Adidas Climacool
  • The word Finish has never looked so good.
  • I had lost faith by the third kilometer and two kilometers --- they had never felt so far.
  • Every minute and every second counts in a run.
  • And when you do finish, you'd totally want to hug the first face you see, sweat and all.

With colleagues after the run and I'm all red from running.

48 minutes. It is not so bad, is all I can say. But I don't want to run a race again anytime soon. I have had my quota for the year =P

Have you had a good run recently?


B by Sarah Kay

>> Sunday, December 11, 2011

Warning: I read the poem out loud on a cold, biting Sunday morning and I felt the icicles of my little heart melt and turn into tears. 

because there is nothing more beautiful than the way
the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline
no matter how many times it’s sent it away.

B by Sarah Kay

Instead of mom, she’s going to call me “point b”
Because that way she knows that no matter what happens, At least she can always find her way to me.
& I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands
so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say
“oh, i know that like the back of my hand.”

she’s going to learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face,
wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach,
but getting the wind knocked out of you is
the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.
there is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry,
so the first time she realizes that wonder woman isn’t coming,
i’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.
because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers
your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal,
believe me, i’ve tried.

& “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick,
you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back
to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire
to see if you can save him or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place
to see if you can change him.”
but I know that she will anyway
so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate & rain boots nearby
because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.
okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix
but that’s what the rain boots are for
because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat,
to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind.
because that’s how my mom taught me,
that there’ll be days like this,
“There’ll be day’s like this my momma said.”
when you open your hands to catch
& end up with only blisters & bruises,
when you step out of the phone booth & try to fly
& the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape,
when your boots will fill with rain & you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment
& those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,”
because there is nothing more beautiful than the way
the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline
no matter how many times it’s sent it away.

You will put the “win” in win some lose some,
you will put the “star” in starting over & over.
no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute
be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.
& yes, on a scale of one to over-trusting
I am pretty ******* naive but i want her to know
that this world is made out of sugar.
it can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out & taste it.

“Baby,” i’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier
but your papa is a warrior & you are the girl with small hands
& big eyes who never stops asking for more.”
remember that good things come in threes
& so do bad things & always apologize when you’ve done something wrong
but don’t ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.
your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing
& when they finally hand you heartbreak,
slip hatred & war under your doorstep
& hand your hand-outs on street corners of cynicism & defeat,
you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

Dear poetry, you really do belong to The Start. For when I don't know where to go, you show me where to.


What's Your Biggest Regret?

>> Friday, December 9, 2011

So maybe there are regrets -- and maybe there are big ones, small ones. I have those. I have so much. I would like to live with minimal ones, and I'd like to be able to live with them.

“If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better.”

TED Talks had an interesting video courtesy of Kathryn Schulz on the Psychology of Regret. It's interesting that people's regrets are usually on education, career and romance. The financial decisions don't even rank, to quote Kathryn Schulz. But it's really better to just watch the video:

The regrets of my life are playing over and over again after watching this video -- but they now look different. I no longer feel like I can't do something about them, I no longer hate myself for it, or that they paved a way I wouldn't have chosen. I see them as battle scars, I see them as war badges and yes, signs that tell me I can do better.

What was your biggest regret?


My Favorite iPad Apps So Far

>> Thursday, December 8, 2011

"There must be a reason why companies and brands are giving away iPads left and right," I thought to myself one day. I had an iPhone and I could spend 24 hours in it with all my web needs. Why would I need an iPad? When it comes to spending and gadgets, I could be quite pragmatic.

But as I've told a million times in person and once here, my iPhone broke down, the iPhone4 was out of stock and a Blackberry, an Android and a Nokia phone are all useless in my hands, I got myself an iPad 2. Apple's iPhone has turned me into a flipping, swiping human with no instinct of operating gadgets that are intuitive. 

What's the difference, you ask? It's just a bigger version of the iPhone, less the call and text capabilities but nevertheless the same. My friend R has both the iPhone and the iPad 2 as well and she claims that getting the iPad 2 was one of the best decisions she's ever done. I was well on my way to declaring that myself.

Presenting, my favorite iPad apps at the moment, so far, and maybe ever, and reasons why you should get an iPad rather than an Android tablet.

Flipboard - which is an entire reason to get an iPad altogether. This app doesn't have an iPhone version {which only makes sense}UPDATE: it now does, and I was completely blown away with its UI {user interface}, the way it revolutionized viewing social networks, making them seem like parts and bits of a magazine:

This is how I see my Facebook. Amazing.

And this is how browsing for my posts look like:

It's infinitely funner to tweet using the native Twitter for iPad app than iPhone but then that's like apples to oranges. #labo

OPlayer - For my video-watching needs, since the iPad is just apt for bedtime watching of Gossip Girl, 2 Broke Girls and Once Upon a Time.

Zinio. I hate the fact that after enjoying my magazines, I'd have to find a way to dispose of them and have them recycled. While I love having my thumbs run through glossies, I find it so impractical that I literally jumped with joy when I realized I could purchase my favorite magazines via Zinio and not worry about wasted trees!

Newsstand - I just downloaded Wired last night and I am now reading up on Jeff Bezos and even if my mom doesn't like Wired, I find it refreshing to read androgynous magazines. 

Cosmopolitan Philippines on Zinio <3 -- Of course I come back to my old self.

And then there's this comic-making app called Halftone. Oh such fun!

Air Hockey, for my pampatulog game. Two can play this, too!

Useful on those hours on Metro Manila roads and wondering where to pass by is the MMDA app.

The Notes app makes more sense now than it did on the iPhone. I have written longer and far more relevant pieces here. <3

Awesome Note for iPad is Awesomesauce. I can draw!!!

Yahoo Messenger on the iPad is bigger and funner, too.

And then there's the Philippine Star app for my current events fix.

 TED Talks for consuming knowledge, wisdom and really useful information like the psychology of regret.

Not an advisor but you gotta love your own xx

iPhoneography at its finest is made possible by Adobe Photoshop Express.

 Incredibooth! <3 <3 <3

And then there's iBooks, which changed the way I saw tablet readers and made me appreciate not having to touch paper anymore.

Have you got an iPad? What are your favorite apps? Spill! 



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All I Want to Do

1. Go to NYC. 2.Create and not touch an emergency fund. 3. Tell someone I love him. 4.Cook a five-course meal and serve it to someone I love. 5. Love my imperfections but improve them, too. Read the rest here. Read the the 30th version here.
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